Bethamin's Tale
by Augusta Almeda
Summary: Bethamin finds herself trapped by her own lies and treason. She reflects on all the things that put her where she is while living. Own only the damane in ch.1.
1. Default Chapter

**BETHAMIN'S TALE**

_She tried not to make any sound as she moved through the trees. Her breathing came fast with excitement and maybe a little fear. It was very rare for a _sul'dam_ to get a chance to go after a _marath'damane_ who already knew how to channel, to one degree or another. A wide bracelet around her left wrist led to an empty collar, the leash coiled in her hand. There would be another _damane_ for the kennels today, and Bethamin meant to be the one who took her. She would not be this particular _damane_'s trainer, but she was determined to be her captor._

__

_A bracelet on her right wrist identical to the other led to the collar around Zerai's neck, her favorite _damane_. The leash had been taken in until she and Zerai were almost side by side. Bethamin was the best _sul'dam_ in the service of the High Lady Taisa, and Zerai the best _damane_. Bethamin had captured her herself only days after discovering she was _sul'dam_, and they had learned together. Bethamin had trained Zerai, named her, and there could be no dog anywhere more loyal to her mistress than Zerai was to her. High Lady Taisa had agreed to sell Zerai to her as soon as she had half what Zerai was worth-High Lady Taisa was very kind-and the other _sul'dam_ knew that Zerai did not work well with any other besides Bethamin._

_Out of the trees burst a tall woman with long, dark red hair. A fireball flew from her hand, but Zerai deflected it. The _marath'damane_ was channeling, or at least holding _saidar_, but then a look of horror came over her face and the Power left her as she suddenly went rigid. Zerai's work, of course. She had shielded the woman and bound her with flows of Air. They could collar her at their leisure,now. Bethamin grinned exitedly at her pet, and Zerai smiled back. They were not only _sul'dam_ and _damane_, but friends, partners. They strolled over to the _marath'damane_. The woman's green eyes were wide with fear and defiance._

_" I will not be leashed!" she shrieked. " I am a free woman, and I will not be collared like a dog! Do you-mmph!" Zerai had stuffed a gag of Air in her mouth. Bethamin reached out and fastened the collar around her neck. Zerai let go of the shield and the gag. There was no need for either, now. The woman- the _damane_- started to scream. Zerai loosed her bonds, and she began clawing helplessly at the collar. Using fine-woven weaves of Air, Zerai cut off all the new _damane_'s clothes and cut off her long hair to her collarbones, the length all High Lady Taisa's _damane_ wore it. That was Zerai's personal touch to every capture, cutting the woman's hair and stripping her because she was _damane_ from the moment the collar was around her neck and _damane_ wore nothing but their uniform dark gray. Most _sul'dam _left those touches till they were back at the estates, but Zerai did things her own way._

_" You are a _damane_ belonging to the High Lady Taisa, now," she told the woman in the firm but pleasant tone that seemed to have a good effect on frightened or newly caught _damane_. " She is a very kind mistress. I will not be the one who trains you, but all the High Lady's _sul'dam_ are kind. If you learn well and do not cause problems, then you will win the affection of the High Lady and the _sul'dam_ and the friendship of the other _damane_. Your name will be Tali, now. You must forget the name you were born with, for it is the name of a human, not a _damane_. You are Tali, and you will eventually forget that you ever were anyone else. Come, Tali." Tali did not move, and Bethamin made her feel a switch across the backs of her knees. " I said come, Tali." The new _damane_ stumbled after her and Zerai, still weeping._

Bethamin jerked awake, tears rolling down her face. She always woke up from the dreams crying. The day Tali had been captured had been a good one. It had also been the last time she and Zerai worked together to capture a _marath'damane_. It had only been a week later that there was an uprising against High Lady Taisa. She still couldn't understand. The High Lady was the kindest of mistresses. Had been the kindest of mistresses. She was dead, now. Taisa had been one of the first to die when the manor was attacked. Bethamin and Zerai had been with her, and Zerai had fallen to an arrow defending the High Lady. Taisa and all the servants and soldiers-even the_ so'jhin_ and _da'covale_-had been given funerals, but the _damane _who had fallen, the ones who stopped the rebels, were all buried in an unmarked mass grave. Bethamin had taken Zerai's body and had it buried with funeral rites in her own family grave plot, far across the Aryth, now. Zerai's _a'dam_, never reused, now had a permanent home in Bethamin's belt pouch.

After that, Bethamin had become Imperial _sul'dam_, drifting to serve wherever needed. She didn't want to risk the heartbreak of losing Taisa and Zerai again. She had no favorites among the _damane_, and had no really close friends. That kind of pain was something she would never suffer again. Now she was far from the graves of her mistress and her friend, in the land of the great Hawkwing as part of the _Corenne_, and still the memories haunted her.

She got up and dressed in the familiar _sul'dam_ dress. She was still a perfect _sul'dam_,whatever her secrets. " Light," she whispered. " I am still that."

__

Author's Note: I know everyone hates the Seanchan, but I like Bethamin. This is somewhere before the scene in _Winter's Heart_ where Bethamin reviews the _damane_ and meets that Seeker. She had to be doing something, right? Taisa is actually a Seanchan name, the name of one of Suroth's _sul'dam_. I made up Zerai and Tali, but both sound like names that were given to _damane_. The Guide and the books suggest that Seanchan girls don't really fight, but there have to be a few wilders out there who struggle against becoming _damane_. This is probably my best(and shortest) short story yet.(This is the fourth WOT short story)

Augusta


	2. Simplicity

Author's Note: This story was originally intended to be a one-shot. I recieved a request to extend it, and the reader is always right. I now have no idea how big this could get. Sorry if I'm not one hundred percent accurate on some points about Bethamin, the timeline, the Jordan plots interlaced, or Seanchan in general; it's a lot to keep up with. The timeline's changed a little-the original story took place the morning before the book 9 chapters _Questions of Treason _and_ A Matter of Property_, but now it's taking place the next day. Sorry for any confusion. Disclaimer: I own Aleine, Jona, Jinna, Jilli, Hana, and Myli. Everything else belongs to Robert Jordan and his publishers.

Augusta

After she was dressed and presentable, Bethamin suppressed a yawn and started down the stairs to the common room of The Golden Swans of Heaven. These common rooms on this side of the Aryth were nothing like those in Seanchan, and she still wasn't used to how open and exposed everything was. In Seanchan, the inns had a series of small, closed rooms that parties could meet in to eat, converse, and see entertainment. Little things were perhaps the most profound in their ability to remind her that she was in a foreign land, far from every association with her life before becoming _sul'dam_ and from everyone she loved, or, to be perfectly accurate, the graves of everyone she loved. To the best of her knowledge, Bethamin didn't have any living kindred. Seeing two friends sitting at one of the tables, she went over and joined them.

" We were beginning to wonder if you'd died, Beth," Aleine joked as one of the serving girls put basins of some kind of porridge and mugs of tea in front of them. " You've never been one to sleep in, even if you didn't have duties."

Jona laughed. " Maybe Beth has a secret lover, Allie, and they -er- wore themselves out while she was gone yesterday." All three of them laughed at Jona's slightly crude joke.

" Hate to ruin your imaginitive streak, Jo, but I don't have a lover," Bethamin said, starting on the porridge. Not like anything she was used to, but not too bad, as far as foreign cuisine went. " I had inspection duty with Renna, then I decided to go shopping instead of looking for extra work."

" So you're human like the rest of us," Aleine said with an exaggerated sigh. " Where'd you go shopping?"

" Oh, down to the laquerware shop two streets over," Bethamin said casually, never flinching at the lie. She was becoming a very good liar, now. That laquerware store was frequented by _sul'dam_; even if Aleine or Jona or that Seeker tried to trail her, the shopkeeper could in all probability say a _sul'dam _had been there, but Bethamin was a trout if the woman would recognize one customer from another.

" You did?" Jona asked. " I was over there myself, but I didn't see you."

Bethamin's smile froze. " We must have just missed each other. Imagine that."

" Probably," Jona agreed, not seeming to notice anything. " It's too bad, though. I would've liked to have talked to someone friendly yesterday. All I had to associate with was Jinna and some of these Ebou Dari, and I haven't yet worked out which hate me more."

Changing the subject, Bethamin asked, " Have either of you checked the duties schedule yet?"

" All three of us are on walking today," Aleine said. " Renna's on inspection again, and Seta's, quote, 'in attendance on the High Lady Suroth'."

" Something's up with those two," Jona said thoughtfully. " Neither of them's been complete since what happened at Toman Head, Renna's meek as a mouse, and Seta's mighty jittery for someone who's supposedly being honored."

" I have a theory," Aleine announced. " Do both of you remember Tuli?"

" The _damane_ who was good with metal? Escaped the day High Lord Turak died? " Jona asked.

" That one. Renna was her trainer, and Seta was complete with her on days that Renna had other duties and couldn't manage it. I think that Renna and Seta helped Tuli get her collar off, get out undetected, and Suroth caught them."

" But why wouldn't the High Lady have them arrested?" Jona asked skeptically.

" Maybe they blackmailed her or something. What do you think, Beth?"

Bethamin just barely kept from shivering. Aleine didn't know how close to the truth she was. " I don't know. It could be, I suppose. As my mother used to say, all things are possible in the weavings of the Wheel." They all finished their porridge, and walked past the glaring innkeeper into the street. The _damane_ complex they were heading for was in the attics of the Tarasin Palace, on the opposite side of town.

" I'm going to try to be complete with Jilli," Aleine said enthusiastically as they walked.

" I'm going for Hana," Jona threw in. " Beth?"

" I'll let everyone get sorted out and be complete with whichever's left over," Bethamin answered, unpertrubed.

" How come you never have any favourites, Beth?"

Unconsiously, Bethamin felt of Zerai's _a'dam_ through the fabric of her belt pouch. _If you knew, Jo, you'd never play favourites either,_ she though to herself, but answered aloud, " No point in getting attatched to one when she could be sold or her owner relocate or anything else at any time, I don't think. "

" That's our Beth," Jona laughed. " Always practical."

True to her word, Bethamin stood aside and let the other _sul'dam_ squabble over who got who and then took the one left over from the day's selection of those to be walked. She was not displeased to be complete with Myli, a pretty, serious young _damane_ from the Empire. Walking the circle with Myli gliding like a swan beside her, Bethamin finally had time to think about everything that had happened since she had finished her inspection duty yesterday.

When she had gotten back to the Golden Swans after her meeting with Egeanin, she had been a nervous wreck, getting slightly tipsy on her roomate Iona's apple brandy. The alcohol had done nothing to calm her. When she retired to bed, she hadn't managed to fall asleep for hours, the main reason she had slept so late, and then she had been forced to endure that dream. Now, though, the whole situation was very clear in her mind and warranted examination. Her life could be forfeit if she didn't examine it and determine what to do.

First, there was the fact that Egeanin held the cards as far as blackmail went. Bethamin couldn't reveal Egeanin's secret, but Egeanin could reveal hers. Could and would. Add in that hulking brute of a _so'jhin_ who was supposedly Egeanin's lover, and the newly-appointed Captain of the Green had the _sul'dam_ in a sack she couldn't get out of, as the saying went in Abunai. Regardless of how hard the cat clawed at the burlap, the fabric held.

Worse was the Seeker. His knowledge of the plots to do with the Aes Sedai and _damane_ and lies and murder was dangerously detailed, but there could be flaws in it. He had thought that Egeanin murdered the _sul'dam_ she found, and if he could be wrong on one thing, he could be wrong on another. Even if he was, though, he was still dangerous. Too dangerous. Bethamin knew that no matter how perfect a citizen and _sul'dam_ she seemed, she would protect her own neck first, even if it meant treason. Her desertion at Falme had been treason, so what was steeping herself further now?

She had hated betraying the Empire and her own values, but she had been terrified. Terror, love, and anger could all make people do things, things they would never ordinarily do, and as Aleine had reminded her, she was human like everyone else. It had all seemed so simple, in the beginning. She would pretend to be one of the _sul'dam _left behind instead of a deserter. That had been the story she concocted after the terror of being collared _damane_ wore off and she started to think rationally. Only a _sul'dam_ could know the horrors of being a _damane_, and therefore only a _sul'dam_ would go to any lengths to save herself from being one. After she had come up with that, Egeanin had captured her and held her with the _a'dam_, then let her go after meeting with two girl Aes Sedai. Others sent to aid in returning _sul'dam_ had accepted her lie immediatly and helped her return to the main force with the High Lady Suroth. Then she had found out that Egeanin was still alive, and that Seeker started questioning her. It had all seemed so simple, but it was as if with every treason, the next grew easier. First finding Renna and Seta leashed in Tuli's kennel and not reporting it. Then fleeing Falme for Tanchico. Then not reporting herself when she escaped from that basement. Finally, now she was committing her worst treason yet, working with Egeanin against the Seeker she was supposed to be Listening for. It had all seemed so simple.

She saw a figure watching the _damane_ exercise period from the corner of her eye, and glanced in that direction. It was a middle-aged man with golden hair. He could have been an innocent bystander. He could have been a _sul'dam_'s secret lover. He could have been a pervert trying to decide which _damane_ to bed. Bethamin felt like she was going to be sick. He was none of them. She had been planning to ask for extra assignments, but she knew she wouldn't. The Seeker was watching her. She knew she would have to visit Egeanin again.


	3. Desperate Chances

Author's Note: I apologize to my readers for the long wait. I've been working on a piece for publication recently and it's taken up a good deal of my time.

Augusta

Egeanin was quarreling with that odd _so'jhin _of hers, the one who talked the same way as Tessi, as Bethamin entered her bedroom-she didn't seem to use any other for meetings or work. He seemed to be quite angry about something, shouting quite openly at his mistress. Bethamin felt her eyebrows twitch before she could stop them. If the man had belonged to her, she would have had him flogged, but the Seeker had made it quite apparent that Egeanin and the _so'jhin_ kept each other company both before and after sundown. She listened carefully to what he was saying. Anything she knew could be helpful at this point.

" I do be telling you, Egeanin, this do be the best chance we do have-"

" Bayle, you know Merrilin as well as I do, maybe better!" Egeanin exclaimed, throwing up her hands. " That old man would stick a knife in our backs as soon as look at us. Light, I want out as much as you, but-" the _so'jhin_-Bayle-signed to her, causing her to break off immediately. She whirled to face Bethamin, a knife springing into her hand before she saw who it was.

" That Seeker was watching me while I was excercising a _damane_ this morning," Bethamin said bluntly. " He followed me, but he's not listening in. Apparently, he doesn't trust me as much as he said."

Egeanin smiled mirthlessly. " Only a fool trusts half as much as they say they do, Bethamin." Bayle shifted slightly and muttered something Bethamin couldn't make out through his accursed accent. The hard-faced woman sat down. " Sit. Bayle, pour us some wine, and you sit too. You're in this as much as either of us." Egeanin must have noticed Bethamin's eyes become round as saucers, because she gave a laugh as hard as the planes of her face. " Shocking, isn't it? I, Lady Egeanin Tamarath, having a _so'jhin_ in on a scheme of mine? You learn very quickly when you rise to the Blood that you use those who are avaliable that you can trust, and I would trust Bayle with anything."

" And why are you telling me this?"

Egeanin's eyes were cold. " So you'll know that he'll kill you if I order him to." Bethamin made a sudden, involuntary movement. "No, he didn't kill Turak," Egeanin said softly, as if reading her thoughts. " Bayle's methods are less refined. I was thinking more along the lines of breaking your neck, Bethamin." Knowing she was not conspiring with a man who would murder a High Lord did not give her the comfort that it would have given a loyal citizen of the Empire; she supposed that caring more about your own neck than you did about the Empire came part and parcel with being a traitor. Egeanin waited till Bayle had poured three glasses of wine and taken the third seat before she spoke again.

" There is a plan," she said, looking at Bethamin over the rim of her glass. " A plan to get some-persons-out of the city. A plan that requires _sul'dam_." Egeanin paused for a moment to let the full impact of that sink in.

" You want me to help _damane_ escape?" Bethamin gasped. There was nothing else that Egeanin could mean. The other woman nodded.

" Precisely. I normally would do no such thing, but my ideas have changed considerably since Tanchico, and I have something to gain by helping this man."

" Merrilin?"

Egeanin's blue eyes flashed. " If you mention that name again before we are far from this city, Bethamin," Egeanin hissed, " then rest assured that I will kill you myself. You have no need of their names, and you will not mention any names you already know. Do you understand me?"

Egeanin had always had a very strong, domineering personality. " Yes, Egeanin." Disgust at herself flickered for a moment-she sounded as pliant a _damane_!-but she pushed it down ruthlessly. You did what you had to do to survive. If Egeanin wanted her to dance, she'd bloody well dance. The other woman nodded, and Bethamin breathed again. Safe, for now at least.

" Now, I will explain things to you, Beth." The use of the nickname from Egeanin made her have to repress a shudder. " I wouldn't, but I don't see as I have much choice. I know a mainlander who wants out of this city-something to do with being held prisoner by his lover, from what Bayle and I can work out. I need out of this city-that Seeker's coming for me, sooner or later, probably sooner. My mainlander accomplice apparently has a soft spot for Aes Sedai, because he needs three to make his plan succeed-liberate himself, his friends, his pet _damane_, and me and Bayle. You are going to help us."

" Sweet Light," Bethamin whispered. " It is treason."

Egeanin threw back her head and laughed. "Oh, I know it is. If you and I were proper Seanchan, I would go to that Seeker and confess everything, and you would hand yourself over to the _sul'dam_. Blood and ashes, you'd put the collar on your own neck and I'd heat the irons personally! But we're no strangers to treason, are we, Bethamin? No, both our souls are black with it. I say no devotions to the Light, the Creator, or the Empress. Treason has made me my own mistress, and treason has made me yours."

Bethamin bit back angry words. It wasn't right, Egeanin blackmailing her like this when she had as much if not more evidence against Egeanin, but Egeanin had far less to lose. Egeanin might not even have to undergo anything worse than execution, being of the Blood. Bethamin faced life on a leash, going from a respected citizen to something less than human, a collared animal. Of course, it was only right that if she could channel that she should become _damane_, but what was right seemed less and less important when she thought about Renna or Seta or worse carrying her bracelet.

" You are bound to be caught," she protested feebly instead. " It is a desperate chance, Egeanin."

Egeanin's face was grim as death. " I know, Bethamin. Desperate chances are all either one of us have left to us at this point."


End file.
